Owning my own hypocrisy

[rallamajoop]

As my One Piece experience draws me ever closer to something approaching up-to-date with this monster, it has come to my attention that this might be an appropriate time to share what I shall call "Everything you never wanted to know about me and shipping but have already come to suspect".


1. Things that have always turned me away from a ship at the door:

1. Partners are separated by a large age gap ¹ and/or maturity gap ², (unless, of course, said pairing has the get-out-of-jail-free card of having at least one partner who is immortal or otherwise ages at a non-standard rate, in which case all bets are off ³). This goes double if the relationship resembles a parent/child dynamic, but stands regardless.
   
2. Partners have never or only briefly met in canon, and showed no overwhelming interest in each other at the time. ⁴
   
3. Ship is hindered by massive canonical impediments, eg, one of them is an unrepentant mass murderer and the other a good guy, one genuinely wants to murder the other, completely irreconcilable life goals, one of them is dead, etc – such that it is, at best, more of a shipwreck than an actual ship. ⁵
   
4. The ship breaks up my OTP and steals all the good fanart goddamnit


¹ say, for the sake of the argument, more than 50% the age of younger party, eg: any teacher/student ship from series like Naruto or One Piece
² eg: Katara/Aang
³ eg: Sol/Ky, arguably Cable/Deadpool
⁴ eg: many years of half-hearted bitching about Kakashi/Iruka
⁵ eg: Subaru/Seishirou, Zato/Millia, Vriska/Tavros

2. Things that generally do not change my mind:

1. Partners are shipped largely on the basis of superficial points of connection, such as similar powers, mutual connection to a third party, hilarious ship names, shared inability to ever wear a shirt, etc.
   
2. Loose similarity to a ship I have shipped before.
   
3. "But they're so well developed individually you can just see how they'd get on if they ever got together..."
   
4. It would be so hot

3. Things that will generally get me shipping:

1. Partners are well developed, interesting characters with canonical subtext-laden interaction.
   
2. Partners are on the same side and can work well together despite wildly conflicting personalities and worldviews that led to conflict early in their relationship.
   
3. Partners came to know and/or like each other by the most ridiculous means possible short of actual bad romcom cliché, and could be well imagined to go on being ridiculous together long into their relationship.
   
4. Did I mention subtext? Like, seriously, give me enough subtext and I will ship virtually anything.

4. Ships I have merrily shipped like the motherfucking Titanic! under this framework:

1. Doumeki/Watanuki 3a,b,c	2. Sol/Ky 3a,b,d	3. Naruto/Sasuke 3a,b	4. Nine/Rose/Jack 3a,b,c
5. Doctor/Master 3d	6. Sam/Gene 3a,b	7. Arthur/Eames 3a,b	8. Sora/Riku 3a,b
9. Cable/Deadpool 3a,b,c,d	10. John/Karkat 3a,b,c	11. Rose/Kanaya 3a,c	12. Jake/Dirk 3a,b,c
13. BRS/Dead Master 3a,b	14. Zoro/Sanji 3a,b

5. Ships that I cannot stop reading fic about despite ALL of the above

1. Ace/Smoker ^{1a,b,c, 2a,b,c,d, and barely 3a}

So help me, but I think they are my One Piece OTP. o_o Neither of them should ever wear a shirt

The only real explanation I've got is that it hits all of my Cable/Deadpool buttons while still being different enough that it doesn't feel anything like a pale imitation. And on the upside, it is surely not coincidental that I have suddenly found myself with the drive to finish Beer and Sympathy at long last (aka the unusually filthy Cable/Deadpool smut fic that has been languishing unfinished for just about as long as I've been in that fandom). I will happily take my inspiration wherever I can get it. ^_^

Comments

[serrende.livejournal.com]

Well, you are in very good company - there are some excellent Ace/Smoker writers out there, notably tonko_ni (even if she's mostly written Pern AUs) and sans_pertinence! It can undeniably be a pretty damn hot and funny pairing.

For some reason I never thought 1b) applied all that much to them... sure, there's a large age gap, but Smoker doesn't strike me as that terribly mature. I guess Ace always felt old enough to handle him (it helps that he did handle him quite well the onte time they met in canon! ^_^).

[rallamajoop.livejournal.com]

Yesss, I have in fact just been reading tonko_ni's Pern AU (and, well, tonko_ni's fic in general - damn but she has written some awesome stuff!). Your recs list has been very much appreciated. *g* I shall have to make sure to check out sans_pertinence next.

You mean 1a? I know what you mean, really - Smoker does sorta look and sound older than I gather he's supposed to be (I had him pinned as 40s, though the wiki tells me he's only in his 30s) and fanfic takes on the pairing do kinda have to address the age gap at least in passing, but I'd fully agree it doesn't feel insurmountable, given relative maturity and such. I bring it up mostly because this is post is ultimately about my own inconsistencies, and I'm fairly sure I've cited similar age gaps as something that's put me off other ships in the past. ^^;

Also, this may seem kind of random, but I happened to notice this old comment you left on one of tonko_ni's Pern AU chapters about a possible interpretation of Smoker/Ace where they act like their fanon-selves in public but in private are Serious Men Discussing Serious Issues, and it has kind of infested my brain in a 'hey I could write something like that...' kind of way (assuming it has not already been written by this stage). Granted, my version would probably end up rather closer to containing actual Ace/Smoker than what you had in mind, but it is a take I haven't seen so far, and it intrigues me.

[serrende.livejournal.com]

Oops, yeah, I mean 1a). And I know what you mean about inconsistency that way - I've noted myself that I can give one reason why I don't like a particular couple then turn around and ship something similar. Puzzling.

... wow, really? :D This gives me all kinds of glee. I still like that one old notion, so if you get something out of it, awesome! And it's totally fine if it ends up shippy! \o/

[rallamajoop.livejournal.com]

Eh, we are human beings, we are under no obligation to be logical or consistent. Often as not it's bound to be all in the detail anyway.

Cool, I shall let that idea percolate a while and see what I can get out of it. :)