The editing list you've got so far seems to cover most of the points you'd need to hit, so I would stick with it for now. Though, I must admit, there was maybe one mention of Himawari in context to Watanuki which made me go "Whaaat?" I think it had something to do with some kind of "lesson" (I interpreted it to mean as in life lesson, of a sort, i.e. the "don't open your heart to others because they betray you" kind of lesson as it sounded rather bitter.) Part of me wants to know what happened, there...
And yes, more description of the ghost attacks would be lovely. As well as maybe a closer look as to the cause of them, maybe? It was made pretty clear that the ghosts get upset when Sakura or Watanuki or Kohane or any of the "April Fools" are threatened, but...Why, exactly? And how do they call up so many others?
Other than that, frankly, I think ldydragon7 hit most of the points. :P
...You still need a beta-reader for this? I'd be happy to volunteer. I loved the draft version of One Billion Ghost Stories, so getting to help with the editing would be WIN. TOTAL WIN.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2008-08-15 03:30 am (UTC)And yes, more description of the ghost attacks would be lovely. As well as maybe a closer look as to the cause of them, maybe? It was made pretty clear that the ghosts get upset when Sakura or Watanuki or Kohane or any of the "April Fools" are threatened, but...Why, exactly? And how do they call up so many others?
Other than that, frankly, I think
...You still need a beta-reader for this? I'd be happy to volunteer. I loved the draft version of One Billion Ghost Stories, so getting to help with the editing would be WIN. TOTAL WIN.