This does not mean I am writing a Dogma AU
Nov. 4th, 2010 09:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rallamajoopClearly I still have some of the quotes from that post about Deadpool's taste in men floating around in my head, because over breakfast this morning I found myself pondering some of those lofty, intellectual questions about just what the comics think they're telling us about Deadpool's sexuality (beyond the obvious fact that the only entirely safe way to label him is probably 'lol-sexual')...
Actually, maybe that's not the best way I could start this post. Maybe what I should do is start by mentioning I've lately realised I have something of a habit of coming up with pseudo-crossovers by casting characters from one source in roles from another, usually limited to mangling a couple of lines here or there. There's that quote from Jack Sparrow in the xxxHOLiC pirate AU (not to mention Dread Pirate Yuuko), the infamous "do I dazzle you?" scene in that Guilty Gear/Twilight mashup (I still do not know quite how that got even as far as it did). There was even that one time I found myself mentally rewriting a memorable exchange between a friend of mine and a panelist at our very first ever How To Survive Your First Con panel as a scene between Ky, Sol and some random Order dude and... look, it was funny to us, okay?
*Ahem*
I mention this in the faint hope of making it seem slightly less random that it suddenly struck me (after breakfast that morning) that a surprisingly good analogue for Deadpool's preferences was to be found in a couple of lines in Dogma (yeah, Deadpool and a Kevin Smith movie – who would've thought?), being an exchange between Jay, Silent Bob, and the Rufus The Thirteenth Apostle (starts at about 4:40 into this clip, if you are curious). In fact, it fits so well that it was a little too easy to picture the same scene happening in some hypothetical AU with Deadpool, Weasel and Cable, and very nearly the exact same dialogue.
It would go like this:
Deadpool: So if you're supposed to be some kinda psychic Jesus, what can you tell me about me?
Cable [completely deadpan]: You masturbate more than any other person on the planet.
Deadpool: C'mon, everyone knows that. How about something nobody knows?
Cable: When you're doing it you're thinking about guys.
[significant pause while Weasel turns to Deadpool with a shocked expression]
Deadpool: *embarrassed* Not all the time!
Just thought I'd share. ;)
Though I do have to admit the idea of a Dogma AU of Cable & Deadpool amuses me an awful lot. You could cast Irene as the main character, one or all of the BAD girls as the muse and Cable fits the role of the Metatron so well he'd probably have to pull double duty. Come to think of it, Agent X after the larynx incident might make an even better Silent Bob. Don't know who I'd cast as the fallen angels, Azrael or God, though I feel as though the Cat ought to be involved somewhere, and probably Apocalypse too. And instead of Dogma, it would of course be called Canon.
The biggest problem is that if one contradiction in Marvel canon would bring the whole house down, the universe would have ended before it even began.
Actually, maybe that's not the best way I could start this post. Maybe what I should do is start by mentioning I've lately realised I have something of a habit of coming up with pseudo-crossovers by casting characters from one source in roles from another, usually limited to mangling a couple of lines here or there. There's that quote from Jack Sparrow in the xxxHOLiC pirate AU (not to mention Dread Pirate Yuuko), the infamous "do I dazzle you?" scene in that Guilty Gear/Twilight mashup (I still do not know quite how that got even as far as it did). There was even that one time I found myself mentally rewriting a memorable exchange between a friend of mine and a panelist at our very first ever How To Survive Your First Con panel as a scene between Ky, Sol and some random Order dude and... look, it was funny to us, okay?
*Ahem*
I mention this in the faint hope of making it seem slightly less random that it suddenly struck me (after breakfast that morning) that a surprisingly good analogue for Deadpool's preferences was to be found in a couple of lines in Dogma (yeah, Deadpool and a Kevin Smith movie – who would've thought?), being an exchange between Jay, Silent Bob, and the Rufus The Thirteenth Apostle (starts at about 4:40 into this clip, if you are curious). In fact, it fits so well that it was a little too easy to picture the same scene happening in some hypothetical AU with Deadpool, Weasel and Cable, and very nearly the exact same dialogue.
It would go like this:
Deadpool: So if you're supposed to be some kinda psychic Jesus, what can you tell me about me?
Cable [completely deadpan]: You masturbate more than any other person on the planet.
Deadpool: C'mon, everyone knows that. How about something nobody knows?
Cable: When you're doing it you're thinking about guys.
[significant pause while Weasel turns to Deadpool with a shocked expression]
Deadpool: *embarrassed* Not all the time!
Just thought I'd share. ;)
Though I do have to admit the idea of a Dogma AU of Cable & Deadpool amuses me an awful lot. You could cast Irene as the main character, one or all of the BAD girls as the muse and Cable fits the role of the Metatron so well he'd probably have to pull double duty. Come to think of it, Agent X after the larynx incident might make an even better Silent Bob. Don't know who I'd cast as the fallen angels, Azrael or God, though I feel as though the Cat ought to be involved somewhere, and probably Apocalypse too. And instead of Dogma, it would of course be called Canon.
The biggest problem is that if one contradiction in Marvel canon would bring the whole house down, the universe would have ended before it even began.