While I'm doing the whole coming out thing...

[rallamajoop]

This seemed as good a time as any to mention that it kinda dawned on me a few years ago that I seem to be basically bisexual.*

In all seriousness, this is not a big deal. I don't think I could have asked for a more gay-friendly social circle than the branch of Perth fandom I've been hanging out with for the last odd decade. I haven't mentioned it to my parents yet, but I can't imagine them being too bothered by it. It just seems silly to make a big scene out of coming out in that sort of environment. For all I know, half those people never assumed I was straight in the first place.

The only slightly awkward thing about the whole situation is that no matter how confident one might be about everyone's support, it's still not the sort of subject that lends itself to being dropped into casual conversation. ("So what did you do over the weekend?" "Oh, nothing much, sat around the house, had a minor personal sexual revelation, you know.") Without going into detail about what kept me from getting through all this stuff years ago**, when you've spent as long as I had in the semi-conscious habit of not drawing attention to fact that, for example, your eyes might sometimes trail after a pretty girl for slightly longer than is entirely heterosexual, it's a hard thing to break yourself out of overnight. But obviously, I want that information out there. I want to be able to casually mention something like how I might personally find the heroine of series X more attractive than the hero, and without confusing anyone with how that adds up with my having identified as heterosexual back in 2001, or whatever. At the very least, it certainly can't hurt my chances of ever getting a date.

So, yeah. That's about the shape of things.

And with all that and the last month of crazy Wai-con cosplay prep out of the way, hopefully I will be back to my regular schedule of posting about random fannish stuff any day now.


* Well, inasmuch as one can say given my non-existent dating history. Sometimes I crush on guys, sometimes I crush on girls, I'm comfortable with the label, and happy to figure out any remaining details as I go.

** Short version: the supportive environment thing is something of a recent development. Until my late teens practically everything public school and available pop culture had ever taught me about homo/bisexuality was the bare definitions, that no-one ever talked about it, and when they did talk about it it was to sneer or otherwise establish that The People Who Did That Were Not Our Kind Of People. (Had RTD's new Doctor Who been on TV when I was a kid I may have had a whole different adolescence.) When it first began to dawn on me that I found girls attractive my response was to freak out and repress, and repress so effectively that it took an awfully long time and a lot of gradual intermediate stages for the subject to come up again. Anyway, I think we've already established the part where I was never the most emotionally stable of teens out there.

Comments

[etrangere.livejournal.com]

lol that's why I never came out to my parents.

Just started identifying that way to new people I met and on new space I hanged out *shrugs*

If I ever have a girlfriend to introduce to my parents, I guess I'll come out then.

[rallamajoop.livejournal.com]

Just started identifying that way to new people I met and on new space I hanged out *shrugs*

Well sure, but this is about existing friends, you know? Besides, around here the old and new are always going to intersect pretty heavily.

For me, there's kinda a little more to it when it comes to talking about romance or really any kind personal stuff with my parents. But the part that matters at the end of the day is that I've got no reason to assume they'd find me bringing a girlfriend home much more notable than a boyfriend. (If anything, they'd probably decide it explained a few things, and I can't say they'd be entirely wrong...)

[etrangere.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, I don't really have any advice, I just wanted to share that you weren't the only one who ever got to feel a bit awkward about this sort of situation.

[rallamajoop.livejournal.com]

Well, I am mostly talking about friends who read my livejournal (or who know people who do - I mentioned the thing about how my social spaces tend to intersect), if that makes the context a bit clearer. So this is my way of clarifying stuff in a forum where no-one gets stuck trying to make polite conversation about my metaphorical weekend revelation if they're happier to nod, shrug and move on with their day. (It's hardly going to be the first time livejournal's filled that role for one of us by one means or another.)

[chisathechi.livejournal.com]

I like to think that society has gotten to a point where sexuality isn't any more of a big deal than other things that you're born with, like having red hair or darker skin. But possibly that's just wishful thinking ^^ That's my view on it anyway. I try not to make assumptions about people's sexuality these days, and in the end it doesn't make much difference to how I view them.

I hope coming to this revelation helps you feel better about things in general - spending energy suppressing feelings can't be good for mental health!

[rallamajoop.livejournal.com]

I'd like to think so too, but unfortunately it still depends a lot on which society you're talking about. Things are definitely getting better (hello new Doctor Who on international TV!) and spaces like fandom are awesome about this kind of stuff... but on the other hand, my last workplace wasn't, and gay marriage is somehow still an issue. *shakes head*

The embarrassing thing is that it's not even close to being new news anymore, it's just when it came to deciding whether this was the right time to bring it up in person that I tended to end up second-guessing myself and clamming up. So I eventually I gave up and took it to livejournal instead. *g*

spending energy suppressing feelings can't be good for mental health!

Hell to the no, though realistically this one was about the least of the baggage behind all the misery I brought up in that last post. ^^; But you're absolutely right in that by god it is nice to be all grown up into a place where sometimes liking girls is something I can enjoy rather than stress over.

[chisathechi.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's easy to forget sometimes that not everyone thinks the same way as your circle of friends. I even had a long debate with a (Catholic) friend about the subject of gay marriage. There is definitely a long way to go.

One less thing to stress over is definitely a good thing!

[velithya]

Speaking of liking girls, does that mean you'll sign up for the ladies special issue of SSBB? ;P

(♥)

[rallamajoop.livejournal.com]

Not that I haven't been tempted once or twice, but if I produce anything SSBB worthy any time soon it's probably going to be that one I mentioned about the closeted superhero and his roommate.

that or some kind of ridiculous thinly veiled rewrite of The Crow with more hoyay and a whole lot of extra plot about how his girlfriend is also back from the dead for revenge but ~neither of them can ever know about the other~ for added angst. Saw that movie on TV for the first time a couple of months ago and it has infested my brain.

I am always up for betaing though. ♥

Congrats!

[anonymousedward.livejournal.com]

I'm bisexual in name only. I'm not attracted to the opposite sex at all, but I'd feel bad ruling out half of the population without even getting to know them. I suppose it's being gay, but flexible enough that I'd venture on the (duller, boring) other side of the rainbow if I fell in love with someone of the opposite sex.