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rallamajoopJust a shorter part this time to finish off the events of the third and fourth days. Next part should be a bit longer. And from then on, I may be about up to the hard stuff...
Quick links to the other parts so far:
The ficlets that started it all
Plot notes and background info
Day 1
Day 2
Day 3 - part 1
Over the course of the next half hour, the sound of the rain grew to an insistent patter. There was silence in the room otherwise, the only other sounds the hiss of the droplets sizzling in the earth outside and the howling wind getting louder with each gust. Even Fye had nothing more to say.
At last, there came a loud thump outside, and the door was thrown open with a bang that echoed so loudly and suddenly around the room that it seemed to rebound Sakura to her feet on impact. There in the doorway stood Doumeki and Syaoran, pulling off coats and goggles to reveal them both to be flushed with effort and panting, but otherwise undamaged.
“Syaoran!” Sakura cried, barely even waiting for him to finish divesting himself of his acid-soaked out clothes before throwing her arms around his neck. Syaoran hugged her back with no self-consciousness, assuring her he was alright.
Doumeki greeted the others in more sedate fashion. Considering the short duration and still uncertain nature of his relationship with these people, Watanuki found himself inexplicably relieved. The atmosphere in this room was contagious.
“Eventful trip?” asked Fye, smile returning.
“Lost a wheel a couple of miles back,” Doumeki reported.
“We had to carry the bike the rest of the way,” Syaoran added, looking up. “Good thing we took the light one and had the both of us there, or we’d have had to leave it behind.” Sakura let out a sob and buried her head in his chest.
“You made the full round?” Kurogane asked.
Doumeki nodded. “We’re leaving it to after the storm to go back for compensation, but we were on our way home before anything went wrong.”
“There were dark clouds over the Tower already before we got there,” Syaoran added. “Fuuma was… a bit funny about getting the warning so late, but he didn’t give us any trouble.” Later on, someone would explain to Watanuki that sarcasm was something Syaoran had never quite gotten the hang of – least of all Fuuma’s bizarre variety – and that statement would make a lot more sense.
“So,” said Fye, once all were settled down. “Anyone got anymore campfire stories?”
***
The rain did not let up until mid way through the following morning. When they finally deemed it safe enough to go out again, the ground outside was still steaming slightly, and the damper patches hissed on contact with their boots. They probably had at least the rest of the day to wait before it would have been advisable to step out there barefoot, but the covers over Fye’s equipment had survived the storm almost without damage, and it was high time to get the solar panels active again.
Doumeki drew the task of checking the water tank while the others worked on the panels, Watanuki tagging stiffly along behind him. The effectiveness of their preparations seemed to be impressing him even more than they had the previous day.
“Do you do this before every storm?” he asked, watching Doumeki scale the ladder on the side of the tank.
“Can’t you guess what would happen if we didn’t?” Doumeki replied, already impatient with this line of questioning.
“But it takes hours!” Watanuki protested.
“Are you questioning whether it’s worth the effort?” Doumeki wondered whether a life being left indoors had given this idiot a distorted view of what constituted reasonable effort for the reward of a protected camp.
“It’s not about the effort,” Watanuki replied, sounding snappish, “it’s about having time.”
Doumeki glanced over a shoulder and waited for Watanuki to get to the point.
“You people knew the storm was coming! You knew even before the clouds showed up! No-one else makes preparations like this because they don’t know when to start!”
“That’s true,” said Doumeki, going back to what he’d been doing.
“Oh, fine – whatever, you’re welcome to just be like that if you prefer it, I’m sure,” Watanuki grumbled behind him, “But if it’s going to be your big secret you could at least admit you’re not telling me and be done with it!”
“Pass me the wrench,” said Doumeki, holding out a hand.
Watanuki complied without further comment, but the wrench hit Doumeki’s hand with rather more force than necessary.
***
Kamui looked no happier to see Doumeki and Syaoran than he had the day before.
“Get everything under cover alright?” Doumeki asked mildly, one eyebrow raising.
“Only by a hair’s breadth,” Kamui informed him. “Before, you’ve always been able to give us at least half a day’s warning.”
“Before, we’ve always had more than half a day’s warning for ourselves,” said Doumeki. “But we’re just messengers. It’s out of our control.”
“Then it’s hard for me to see why a warning that came as late should be worth so much to us,” said Kamui, scarcely mollified.
“A warning is still a warning,” said Doumeki. “If you hadn’t had it, I’m sure you’d see the difference.”
“Oi,” said Syaoran, who’d been examining the box of ammunition that had been provided as their fee. “There’s barely enough for two weeks use in here. That’s not even half…!”
“Then get the rest of what you need from your friends at the Tower,” Kamui cut in. He turned to go in a swirl of black cape, with the self-assurance of one of few men in the country who knew no-one would ever dare try to shoot him in the back.
Kurogane had been dead right that they didn’t have enough reputation to waste.
It's high time this thing had proper title other than just 'the post-apocalyptic one', but titles give me trouble and I'm not yet decided. I could live with something generic like 'The Dead Lands', but I'd rather do better. 'The Telling of One Billion Ghost Stories' is still a contender with fun links back to the early chapters of the manga, though it's a bit of a mouthful. 'April Fool's Day' is another possibility, but I'd worry the casual reader would miss the 'April Fool's Day' = 'Judgement Day' connection and assume it was something light-hearted and silly. Which would be a bit of a case of bad advertising, to say the least.
So, anyone got any useful suggestions or thoughts?
Quick links to the other parts so far:
The ficlets that started it all
Plot notes and background info
Day 1
Day 2
Day 3 - part 1
Over the course of the next half hour, the sound of the rain grew to an insistent patter. There was silence in the room otherwise, the only other sounds the hiss of the droplets sizzling in the earth outside and the howling wind getting louder with each gust. Even Fye had nothing more to say.
At last, there came a loud thump outside, and the door was thrown open with a bang that echoed so loudly and suddenly around the room that it seemed to rebound Sakura to her feet on impact. There in the doorway stood Doumeki and Syaoran, pulling off coats and goggles to reveal them both to be flushed with effort and panting, but otherwise undamaged.
“Syaoran!” Sakura cried, barely even waiting for him to finish divesting himself of his acid-soaked out clothes before throwing her arms around his neck. Syaoran hugged her back with no self-consciousness, assuring her he was alright.
Doumeki greeted the others in more sedate fashion. Considering the short duration and still uncertain nature of his relationship with these people, Watanuki found himself inexplicably relieved. The atmosphere in this room was contagious.
“Eventful trip?” asked Fye, smile returning.
“Lost a wheel a couple of miles back,” Doumeki reported.
“We had to carry the bike the rest of the way,” Syaoran added, looking up. “Good thing we took the light one and had the both of us there, or we’d have had to leave it behind.” Sakura let out a sob and buried her head in his chest.
“You made the full round?” Kurogane asked.
Doumeki nodded. “We’re leaving it to after the storm to go back for compensation, but we were on our way home before anything went wrong.”
“There were dark clouds over the Tower already before we got there,” Syaoran added. “Fuuma was… a bit funny about getting the warning so late, but he didn’t give us any trouble.” Later on, someone would explain to Watanuki that sarcasm was something Syaoran had never quite gotten the hang of – least of all Fuuma’s bizarre variety – and that statement would make a lot more sense.
“So,” said Fye, once all were settled down. “Anyone got anymore campfire stories?”
***
The rain did not let up until mid way through the following morning. When they finally deemed it safe enough to go out again, the ground outside was still steaming slightly, and the damper patches hissed on contact with their boots. They probably had at least the rest of the day to wait before it would have been advisable to step out there barefoot, but the covers over Fye’s equipment had survived the storm almost without damage, and it was high time to get the solar panels active again.
Doumeki drew the task of checking the water tank while the others worked on the panels, Watanuki tagging stiffly along behind him. The effectiveness of their preparations seemed to be impressing him even more than they had the previous day.
“Do you do this before every storm?” he asked, watching Doumeki scale the ladder on the side of the tank.
“Can’t you guess what would happen if we didn’t?” Doumeki replied, already impatient with this line of questioning.
“But it takes hours!” Watanuki protested.
“Are you questioning whether it’s worth the effort?” Doumeki wondered whether a life being left indoors had given this idiot a distorted view of what constituted reasonable effort for the reward of a protected camp.
“It’s not about the effort,” Watanuki replied, sounding snappish, “it’s about having time.”
Doumeki glanced over a shoulder and waited for Watanuki to get to the point.
“You people knew the storm was coming! You knew even before the clouds showed up! No-one else makes preparations like this because they don’t know when to start!”
“That’s true,” said Doumeki, going back to what he’d been doing.
“Oh, fine – whatever, you’re welcome to just be like that if you prefer it, I’m sure,” Watanuki grumbled behind him, “But if it’s going to be your big secret you could at least admit you’re not telling me and be done with it!”
“Pass me the wrench,” said Doumeki, holding out a hand.
Watanuki complied without further comment, but the wrench hit Doumeki’s hand with rather more force than necessary.
***
Kamui looked no happier to see Doumeki and Syaoran than he had the day before.
“Get everything under cover alright?” Doumeki asked mildly, one eyebrow raising.
“Only by a hair’s breadth,” Kamui informed him. “Before, you’ve always been able to give us at least half a day’s warning.”
“Before, we’ve always had more than half a day’s warning for ourselves,” said Doumeki. “But we’re just messengers. It’s out of our control.”
“Then it’s hard for me to see why a warning that came as late should be worth so much to us,” said Kamui, scarcely mollified.
“A warning is still a warning,” said Doumeki. “If you hadn’t had it, I’m sure you’d see the difference.”
“Oi,” said Syaoran, who’d been examining the box of ammunition that had been provided as their fee. “There’s barely enough for two weeks use in here. That’s not even half…!”
“Then get the rest of what you need from your friends at the Tower,” Kamui cut in. He turned to go in a swirl of black cape, with the self-assurance of one of few men in the country who knew no-one would ever dare try to shoot him in the back.
Kurogane had been dead right that they didn’t have enough reputation to waste.
It's high time this thing had proper title other than just 'the post-apocalyptic one', but titles give me trouble and I'm not yet decided. I could live with something generic like 'The Dead Lands', but I'd rather do better. 'The Telling of One Billion Ghost Stories' is still a contender with fun links back to the early chapters of the manga, though it's a bit of a mouthful. 'April Fool's Day' is another possibility, but I'd worry the casual reader would miss the 'April Fool's Day' = 'Judgement Day' connection and assume it was something light-hearted and silly. Which would be a bit of a case of bad advertising, to say the least.
So, anyone got any useful suggestions or thoughts?
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no subject
Date: 2007-08-30 03:35 pm (UTC)of course you knowAND AND AND-I need more time in my life. ;_;
I'm sorry to say I have no title suggestion, because I suck at titles. Always have, always will. :(
no subject
Date: 2007-08-30 03:37 pm (UTC)The title and summary of some fics can give me more trouble that all the writing that comes after them, I swear. ><
no subject
Date: 2007-08-30 03:40 pm (UTC)XD That's why the title and summary usually come last for me, except I tend to get attached to the working title anyway. >_>
no subject
Date: 2007-08-31 12:45 am (UTC)I was having a good run with titles back in Naruto fandom - there are several from back then I'm still fond of. I don't know what happened since. But it figures a fic like this would have to be as difficult about titles as possible.
no subject
Date: 2007-08-30 03:58 pm (UTC)I don't know if this works, but you could always borrow T.S. Eliot's title for his epic poem The Waste Lands. It's similar to what you've already came up with, and it has a bit of a poetic edge to it, I guess? :
no subject
Date: 2007-08-31 12:10 am (UTC)Although I am pretty fond of T.S. Eliot too, I think titles taken from his work have already been done to death. I'd rather not make the situation any worse.
no subject
Date: 2007-08-30 04:55 pm (UTC)Anyway, a good dose of character development, I'd say. The interaction really helped, especially with the mood. And the sound of the door - I could feel it. I can't wait for where it takes us next.
no subject
Date: 2007-08-31 12:18 am (UTC)Next will be a few days of timeskip, then we'll be up to Watanuki's first real supply mission since joining the camp. And then I'm going to have to stop and think a bit about where I'm going after that.
no subject
Date: 2007-08-31 12:08 am (UTC)Watanuki complied without further comment, but the wrench hit Doumeki’s hand with rather more force than necessary.
And this:
“Then get the rest of what you need from your friends at the Tower,” Kamui cut in. He turned to go in a swirl of black cape, with the self-assurance of one of few men in the country who knew no-one would ever dare try to shoot him in the back.
are two pieces of gorgeous characterisation.
As for the title, I'm with the them *points upwards* I also like The Waste Lands.
no subject
Date: 2007-08-31 12:22 am (UTC)You're all conspiring against me. -_- But taking such an obvious name from a famous poem just feels like such a cop out to me.
no subject
Date: 2007-08-31 02:08 am (UTC)Maybe something in a similiar vein then for the name? That way you don't feel like you're taking it straight from the poem itself?
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Date: 2007-08-31 02:22 am (UTC)Well, the 'something in a similar vein' would get me back to 'The Dead Lands' where I started, which I already rejected for being a bit too generic. ^^;
no subject
Date: 2007-08-31 02:38 am (UTC)And as for titles...well I'll be no help because I'm only good for coming up with bizzare abstract titles like "Once Upon an Acid April" and even I sit there blinking and going WTF? XD It's usually why I cop out and go for titles based on song lyrics XD.
no subject
Date: 2007-08-31 03:00 am (UTC)Probably no-one will see those costumes until this time next year or later, but I should be easy to find at Waicon at any rate. I'm always in costume, and my sister and I spend most of the con running a stall to sell her artwork. We hardly got to leave it but for the cosplay comp last year.
CLAMP cosplay is trickier than it should be (costumes can be so intricate, and so many of their characters are built like stick figures) - we're all going to have all kinds of fun getting it to work, I'm sure. Still, best of luck with that! Any ideas who you might be going as yet?
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Date: 2007-08-31 03:07 am (UTC)I don't know if I can make it to this year's simply because I might not be in the country but if I am I am defintely going to try and find you. And oooh artwork...that I will definitely have to check out!
And CLAMP costumes are insanely complecated and yes, made for stick figures but I guess I'm determined to drive myself insane attempting one. As for any ideas so far...not many. I mean I'd love to try Yuuko but that might be far too...complecated for my skills XD.
no subject
Date: 2007-08-31 12:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-31 01:22 pm (UTC)I think I'd like something about ghosts or the dead, since that's a major plot element, and 'April Fool's Day' could have worked because it had a layer of ambiguity to it - just possibly a little too much ambiguity (and I really don't want to venture into Eliot territory). The billion ghost stories one is still about the most likely option at this stage.
no subject
Date: 2007-09-01 05:07 am (UTC)“Pass me the wrench,” said Doumeki, holding out a hand.
This is so classic Watanuki Doumeki interaction, I love it.
Sakura and Syaoran were so cute, and I love how Syaoran just doesn't get sarcasm.
I'm afraid I don't have any ideas for titles, but my vote is against Waste Lands/Dead Lands as a title. T.S. Eliot aside, the focus of this story doesn't seem to be on the distruction casued but on the survival of that distruction against all odds. I like 'The Telling of One Billion Ghost Stories' though it is a mouthful.
no subject
Date: 2007-09-01 07:26 am (UTC)As I think I've said before, it's a different world, but some things have not changed very much. ^_^
Sakura and Syaoran were so cute, and I love how Syaoran just doesn't get sarcasm.
For an amnesic little killing machine who exists only to protect one person, he's still quite cute in this universe.
I'm afraid I don't have any ideas for titles, but my vote is against Waste Lands/Dead Lands as a title. T.S. Eliot aside, the focus of this story doesn't seem to be on the distruction casued but on the survival of that distruction against all odds.
Yes! Exactly right - it's a dark story, but it's not all doom and gloom. The appocalypse was more than twenty years ago, people have gotten over it by now and are going on with their lives, y'know?
I like 'The Telling of One Billion Ghost Stories' though it is a mouthful.
That's still my first choice, I think. And for everyday use, I could shorted it to 'Ghost Stories'. And maybe I will wind up with a side story called 'April Fool's Day' or something.